Where do the tough go to?

The saying goes "when the going gets tough the tough get going" right? The more I think about that statement the more I really wonder what that means. I have been a fashion and advertising photographer for as long as I can remember and right now it's tough! So I should get going, right?

The question is where does an advertising photographer like me go. I have knocked on the doors of fashion houses, called and called Ad agencies, sent email after email to folk that are potential clients and where has that got me, in a tough spot! I never thought that being a fashion photographer would be an easy life but come on! I think my work rocks not to say that there is no room for improvement, but I am very proud of my current body of work. I have received, "great work", "awesome images", "keep them coming" and other complementary remarks by fashion and advertising photographers. I have received these comments from Ad agencies but yet not a thing that resembles a paying assignment.

So as things get harder and harder (and I am not only talking just about a cash flow issue but an emotional tough spot as well) where the heck do I go? Some other fashion photographers have told me to do a 365 project and that is all well and fine but that is not what I am after. I want and need to pay my bills, support my family (you know the wife a few kids are running around) maybe just maybe go to a movie without thinking "this money could be used for something else". Where the hell do the tough go to?

I am sure that I am not alone in this situation and I am also sure that fashion photographers are not the only people that suffer from this. Does the world truly only work on luck and money? Cause that would freak'en suck. If I had no money issues I could just keep battling the "no doors opening emotional problem". Go to the doc and ask for some happy pills, but the truth is there is a money problem; I don't have any. Maybe all these people saying, "if you really want it you can do it" have never really done anything, have never been out on the edge,have never not slept for days at a time cause the car payment is due and you have no idea where the money will come from. I know, I know most of the world is in a recession and it's hard everywhere. I do not need or want to be rich or famous all I want is to make a living doing what I am great at and what I love - -MY CALLING, MY CALLING - know what I mean? Just to pay my bills on-time, have my little economy car and my little 4 bedroom apartment outside of Tel Aviv (Tel Aviv is supper pricy).

If I only knew where the tough go I would join them cause I am lost!

Hopelessly a photographer

My buddy Martin, a marketing guru in my opinion is not going to be happy with this post!
I just turned 41 which should not be a big deal but somehow it feels huge. I have been living my dream for a while now with only a piece missing - my aspirations to be a working photographer.
If I had known that making a living as a photographer in Israel would be so hard I would have thought twice about it cause the alternative as I see is is BS.
Maybe I am being an idealist about it but through my blood I am a photographer. Every time I say to my self " I can live without my photography" six months later I find myself saying " I need to make images". The balance is just killing me and I am sure that I am not alone in this. What drives us? Why do we choose such a path that is so frustrating and so dam freaking hard? And as I right this I know the answer -because IF you do get to have your vision seen it is the most rewarding feeling, at least for me. For me it's not the money or fame but to say "hey check that out I made it" fills me like love fills me to the core.
I wish I could sit here and say I am making it but I guess the truth is that I am not and I feel so disconnected from my passion of photography.
I am not the guy that needs to have a camera in had 24/7 and maybe cause I do not consider myself as an artist but rather a commercial guy that likes to execute an idea is the wrong approach.
Creating the mood of an image that a client is after is just as critical as the idea. If we did not have the spices to cook with, food would not be the same. So I consider my self a spice part of the mix. Without hair, make-up or styling would the image be same? For sure not. Even a different team would create a different image. Creating something from thin air that sends a message, says something. The message, important or not does not matter to me cause we live in a commercial world but creating an image that communicates someone's ideas physically (thru an image) gets me all hot and bothered!
Give me your idea and lets make it happen.
I often wonder what makes a good photographer cause really anyone can take a great image and I always come back to it truly lies in the heart of the person behind the camera. The one directing the scene, the one in charge of creating the mood, to bad an entire country is missing out on some one that loves life and breathing life into ideas cause it's fun to do.

Peaks are part of the perks

In talking about my recent work, I recalled a fashion shoot that I did in New York for a fashion designer.
The shoot was for a look book. It was not going to be a stressful shoot and I wanted to try a new digital tech fresh out of RIT. I graduated from there so I felt like I was giving back.

So things started off cool and easy. The team showed up and we started working. You know, hair, make-up, breakfast a few smokes, coffee a few more smokes and of course getting the gear all set up.

I went over everything with the digi tech ( I was shooting with a Leaf back at the time) and he seemed to have everything under control and understood what I was expecting from him.

As with most fashion shoots the models are not very bashful. Getting dressed and undressed with relatively little privacy is the norm and is nothing new, at least it wasn’t to me.
I started speaking to the tech between shots asking him about something, when I noticed he wasn’t paying attention to a darn thing I was saying. I then realized that he was checking the model out. Yes, she was getting dressed or undressed, not really import, but this kids eyes and tongue were popping out of his head and dropping on the floor. Really I think I saw drool out of the corner of his mouth. I said to him a few times "dude, dude, YO dude” but I got nothing from him. He was in a sort of naked girl coma. I could not get his attention for anything. Granted this model was smoken hot, but nothing that I have not seen before on other fashion shoots and already became accustomed to. After all the peaks are part of the perks of being a fashion shooter, right. It must have taken me four minutes to get him to focus and regain his concentration. I told him, “Calm down, we’re only 2 hours into the shoot, you’ll have plenty of time to ogle the rest of the day.”
He spent the rest of the day glued to the computer peaking up every now and again looking for the perk.

Summer sky

Colors in the Sky

Extreme Fashion

And the sun goes down